Imagine being Fisher in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Rian Johnson, you fuckin' smart, risk-taking with your outlandish ideas and horrific execution. I would totally call you a champion of womens' rights, both my character and the real me." when all she really wants to do is another line in her dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be Carrie and be rotting away while the CGI department edits your lifeless corpse, the favorable lighting barely concealing the morticians' makeup, and just sit there, in the afterlife, while they made this scene. Not only having to tolerate Disney parading your corpse like a Macy's Day Parade as the crowd shouts YAS QUEEN and THE FORCE IS FEMALE because they're not the ones who have to have their likeness on screen flying like Superman. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of midgets and actors and later the Grim Reaper for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight from the success of Star Wars. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the false sense of pride and accomplishment when they thought putting this horrid sceen in the movie was a good idea, the idea that Disney thought would inspire hope instead of laughter. And then the director doesn't take this embarrassing scene out of the movie, and you know your vengeful spirit could kill every single person in this room before the studio security could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Carrie. You're not going to lose your standing in the afterlife over this. Just bear it. Do another line and bear it.
вторник, 26 декабря 2017 г.
суббота, 22 апреля 2017 г.
внимательно рассмотри человека
Внимательно рассмотри человека на прилагающейся фотографии. Можешь ли ты представить себе, как этот мужчина большую часть ЗП отдает за аренду хаты у бабули? Можешь представить, что остаток он пропивает, понтуясь перед дешевыми девицами, пока мало еще что смыслящими в жизни? А то, что он работает напрягаясь, чтобы купить себе двушку в Москве (котлован, ипотека)? Ведет бурные обсуждалки в фейсбуке для поднятия ЧСВ?
Теперь посмотри на него еще раз. Видишь ли ты на нем курточки по стоимости твоей зарплаты? Может он знаком с реально весомыми людьми в этой стране? Обладает восторгами баб "какой ты красавчик"?
Посмотри снова на этого мужчину и спроси самого себя, что с ним не так?
Почему в его квартире все под себя, итальянские обои-плитка, родная немецкая бытовая техника, палисандровые панели, а в Газели — керамогранит?
Теперь посмотри на него еще раз. Видишь ли ты на нем курточки по стоимости твоей зарплаты? Может он знаком с реально весомыми людьми в этой стране? Обладает восторгами баб "какой ты красавчик"?
Посмотри снова на этого мужчину и спроси самого себя, что с ним не так?
Почему в его квартире все под себя, итальянские обои-плитка, родная немецкая бытовая техника, палисандровые панели, а в Газели — керамогранит?
четверг, 6 апреля 2017 г.
slam poetry
Hey, pal. I learned how to snap my fingers by going to slam poetry. I even went on stage once. Here's an excerpt:
I am a white man Oppressing, oppressing especially those who are not white and women too
Make me a sandwich, bitch or I'll put you back in the cage with Fu Manchu
I didn't go back because I had better things to do. Like playing Halo 3.
I am a white man Oppressing, oppressing especially those who are not white and women too
Make me a sandwich, bitch or I'll put you back in the cage with Fu Manchu
I didn't go back because I had better things to do. Like playing Halo 3.
понедельник, 3 апреля 2017 г.
dogs v. cats from r/mde
the reason dogs eclipsed cats as the online animal of choice is because dogs are democratic, and cats are elitist.
and the early internet was very elitist, back when not everyone knew how to use it.
now that everyone knows how to use it, we get dogs.
aren't dogs like your typical redditor? nice. cheerful. hard working. and kind of dumb. nothing wrong with that.
but you need both dogs and cats to make a world. do you think a dog would have the temerity, the sheer breadth of vision, that it took to film Lawrence of Arabia? No way. A dog would be good at directing, say, guardians of the galaxy, and then he'd have a good time and love everyone. Only for a cat is genius imaginable. Only a cat would be dickish enough to re-shoot the same scene a hundred times until the main actress is crying out of boredom and frustration. A dog is just too nice for that.
The reason the image above is so awkward is that these redditors are using doggo language for a cat. Lolspeak is subtly different from doggo language. No trochees. Lolspeak is like a bastardized english, jarring, subversive, etc. Doggospeak is a bastardized bastardized english where the subtlety of "I can haz cheezburgeR?" is lost. and yes, I would really argue there is a gradient of subtlety between "I can haz cheezeburger" and "doggo puppo pupper dogger doge" etc.
Kitter is just a ridiculous phrase. But I don't find the image itself disagreeable.
Not because a cat would be a good class comrade. but because a cat would be exactly the type of pretentious french fucker to keep reading commie tracts long after the blood has been spilled everywhere and the souls of the murdered innocents cry out for justice so loud you have to stuff madeleines in your ears. a dog would be a useful idiot who would bite people, but only after taking orders from the cat, who was educated overseas, in france, and came back to his country to destroy his nation and its people.
cat = pol pot
dog = dumb peasant folk who commit atrocities in the cat's name
you need both in balance to make the world, or it becomes a hell of mediocrity (guardians of the galaxy funniest jokes montage 18 million view) or a hell of elitism (what did derrida mean by this 600 page, unintelligible-except-for-the-parts-which-betray-a-disgusting-inhuman-hatred-of-everything-connected-with-life-and-goodness screed?)
I know I sound like a hater, but I just wanted to express my opinion. I've always found cats a hundred times cuter than dogs. They're cleaner, they're more elegant, and they're much more beautiful imo. (I might just have toxoplasmosis though lol)
The trade off is that a cat is purely aesthetic. when the chips are down, the cat will skip town. the cat will never pull a sled. c'mon. but equally absurd is the idea of a dog lending some aesthetic beauty and grace to a café.
I could talk about dogs and cats like a pre-school kid on ritalin for hours. But I just think it's a very useful metaphor for classifying people, ideas, things in the world, etc.
and the early internet was very elitist, back when not everyone knew how to use it.
now that everyone knows how to use it, we get dogs.
aren't dogs like your typical redditor? nice. cheerful. hard working. and kind of dumb. nothing wrong with that.
but you need both dogs and cats to make a world. do you think a dog would have the temerity, the sheer breadth of vision, that it took to film Lawrence of Arabia? No way. A dog would be good at directing, say, guardians of the galaxy, and then he'd have a good time and love everyone. Only for a cat is genius imaginable. Only a cat would be dickish enough to re-shoot the same scene a hundred times until the main actress is crying out of boredom and frustration. A dog is just too nice for that.
The reason the image above is so awkward is that these redditors are using doggo language for a cat. Lolspeak is subtly different from doggo language. No trochees. Lolspeak is like a bastardized english, jarring, subversive, etc. Doggospeak is a bastardized bastardized english where the subtlety of "I can haz cheezburgeR?" is lost. and yes, I would really argue there is a gradient of subtlety between "I can haz cheezeburger" and "doggo puppo pupper dogger doge" etc.
Kitter is just a ridiculous phrase. But I don't find the image itself disagreeable.
Not because a cat would be a good class comrade. but because a cat would be exactly the type of pretentious french fucker to keep reading commie tracts long after the blood has been spilled everywhere and the souls of the murdered innocents cry out for justice so loud you have to stuff madeleines in your ears. a dog would be a useful idiot who would bite people, but only after taking orders from the cat, who was educated overseas, in france, and came back to his country to destroy his nation and its people.
cat = pol pot
dog = dumb peasant folk who commit atrocities in the cat's name
you need both in balance to make the world, or it becomes a hell of mediocrity (guardians of the galaxy funniest jokes montage 18 million view) or a hell of elitism (what did derrida mean by this 600 page, unintelligible-except-for-the-parts-which-betray-a-disgusting-inhuman-hatred-of-everything-connected-with-life-and-goodness screed?)
I know I sound like a hater, but I just wanted to express my opinion. I've always found cats a hundred times cuter than dogs. They're cleaner, they're more elegant, and they're much more beautiful imo. (I might just have toxoplasmosis though lol)
The trade off is that a cat is purely aesthetic. when the chips are down, the cat will skip town. the cat will never pull a sled. c'mon. but equally absurd is the idea of a dog lending some aesthetic beauty and grace to a café.
I could talk about dogs and cats like a pre-school kid on ritalin for hours. But I just think it's a very useful metaphor for classifying people, ideas, things in the world, etc.
воскресенье, 5 марта 2017 г.
AnCo is degen
Back in 05 or 06 during their Feels days Panda Bear dated this girls (Erin) best friends(Nathan) sister. Her name was Amy or Kim. I think it was Amy. They were all invited to a show and the only person who really listened to their music was Amy. Before the show they all sat around and drank backstage and Animal Collective smoked a shitload of weed. Panda Bear and Amy got up to go f*ck and Erin picked up Amys camera which had a sex tape with Panda Bear and Amy in it. At one point in the sex tape Panda Bear shoves a buttplug with a horse tail on it into Amys asshole and made her walk around on all fours and neigh like idk I cant really imagine Panda Bear doing that but Erin was telling she doesnt buy their "innocent" brand or whatever because theyre degen as fuck.
There's more to this story but typing it out now its not as exciting as I remember because I'm a big anco fanboy so it was more exciting to me so uhh bullet points: They got to play in the show which was cool. They all went bar hopping after besides Panda who I guess went to shove stuff into his gf's asshole. Avey Tare is a Tit Man who offered to pay to see their bartender and Erin to rub tits and would constantly grab Erins tits despite dating qt Kría Brekkan at the time. They tried to pay belly dancers to strip for them at a Hookah lounge but they didnt do it so they ended up at a strip club. They constantly were hitting one hitters in every bar they went to. Deakin was the chillest dude as youd expect. Theres probably stuff Im forgetting but mostly the image of Panda Bear going borderline buffalo bill to some girls asshole on digital camera, most likely with that sickly green night vision mode, is stuck in my head more than anything. It's not that good of a story now that Im typing it. Im going to fuck Erin tomorrow which is tight.
Сама история с сабреддита МДЕ, но создавать отдельный тег для реддита я не хочу, пусть будет /mu/.
UPD: передумал и создал
There's more to this story but typing it out now its not as exciting as I remember because I'm a big anco fanboy so it was more exciting to me so uhh bullet points: They got to play in the show which was cool. They all went bar hopping after besides Panda who I guess went to shove stuff into his gf's asshole. Avey Tare is a Tit Man who offered to pay to see their bartender and Erin to rub tits and would constantly grab Erins tits despite dating qt Kría Brekkan at the time. They tried to pay belly dancers to strip for them at a Hookah lounge but they didnt do it so they ended up at a strip club. They constantly were hitting one hitters in every bar they went to. Deakin was the chillest dude as youd expect. Theres probably stuff Im forgetting but mostly the image of Panda Bear going borderline buffalo bill to some girls asshole on digital camera, most likely with that sickly green night vision mode, is stuck in my head more than anything. It's not that good of a story now that Im typing it. Im going to fuck Erin tomorrow which is tight.
Сама история с сабреддита МДЕ, но создавать отдельный тег для реддита я не хочу, пусть будет /mu/.
UPD: передумал и создал
воскресенье, 29 января 2017 г.
русские белые соколы
Мне бы хотелось быть нонстоп-патриотом, и чтобы при этом на тебя свои не смотрели как на психа. Представьте, если бы все наоборот было бы. Я бы ходил, обмотавшись рюсским флагом, палил бы из рюсского макарыча и ТТ по ссыкливым дрищехачикам и (в ужасе вспоминая жирных обрюзгших голубоглазых бабищ со своей родины), еб бы худеньких черноволосых блядей. Потом я бы гулял бы по Грозному в футболке с надписью "РУССКИЙ ВИТЯЗЬ" на спине, (опять-таки) пиздил бы с друзьями - БОГАТЕХЧО хачей, хаченят, хачевок и хачемилиполиренжедционеров. Потом на нас выезжал бы хачеомон, мы бы дрались с ними, но героически отхватывали по еблам, успев застрелить двух-трех. Нам бы заламывали руки и везли в отделение, мы бы хамили, вопили, а мы бы тыкали им в лицо ксивами ФСБ республики Ленинград Российской Федерации, прокуратуры города Санкт-Петербурга, паспортами спортсменов-стрелков олимпийской школы и орали бы, что мой батя (а мой батя был бы каким-нибудь главной патриотического государственного движения РУССКИЕ БЕЛЫЕ СОКОЛЫ) сейчас приедет и отдерет всех этих черномазых пидаров в очеллы, и батя бы приезжал, и драл бы, и президент моей республики тоже приезжал бы, и президент уебищной Чечни ссал бы от страха и отдавал бы меня с друзьями бате под "личную ответственность", а потом заваливал бы нас деньгами, выдранными из бюджета и отданными нам на новые ауди а8 и шевроле, вместо того, чтобы быть пущенными на нищих пенсионеров Грозного. А я ехал бы по шоссе с батей в распиздатой дорогой тачке, увешанной рюсскими флагами, из колонок ебашила бы Жанна Бичевская вперемешку с Коловратом. А потом я приезжал бы домой и читал бы, как группу собравшихся чеченских нохчо, протестующих против "беспредела", разогнали - половину в больницу, а половину в тюрягу на 8 лет по 282 статье "Разжигание межнациональной розни". А мы бы запоминали хари, пробивали (ФСБ же, хули), а потом приезжали бы и выбивали бы кистенями и палицами зубы, и нас снова отпускали бы. А чо, блять. Нам можно было бы. У меня батя, сила и бабло, а у них - только трусость и слабость. Мы Русские, с нами Бог! Храни Господь матушку Россию! Кто не с нами, тот под нами!
ауе, пацаны
Ладно ещё школота. Нам на работу привозили какую-то хуйню и машину разгужали, я стрельнул сигаретку у газельщика, умученного вида колхозного мужичка за сорокет, и о чём-то вяло с ним запизделся. Не помню в каком контексте было упомянуто Зауралье, я как-то мимоходом спизднул, мол, слыхал, там сурово всё и девяностые ещё не закончились. Шофёр просветлел лицом и с жаром, хоть и не слишком связно, заговорил о том, что таки да, там ещё девяностые вовсю, живёт дух старой школы, "там ещё Братки (сказано было с восторженным придыханием и именно с большой буквы) настоящие остались, понятия, мол не забыли, все в тюрьме сидели (сказано было ещё с большим восторгом, как если б "они до Берлина дошли") и пидарасам воли не дают, не то, что у нас, в Питере". И ещё минут пять разорялся в таком же ключе о Братках, как о благородных ганслингерах, которые уж непременно вычистили бы этот погрязший в пороке город от злых мексиканских бандитос, прошу прощения, пидарасов. Заткнутая за лобовое стекло книжечка в мягком переплёте а ля "воровской штрафбат" довершала клиническую картину. Самое смешное, что подобранный где-то в ебенях им браток перережет ему горло из-за пяти тыщ рублей, а живого пидараса этот чувак, скорее всего, даже в жизни не увидит.
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